First, I am ever-so-happy to relay that big girl has had no complications from her insane fall. We took her to the doctor yesterday since she was still complaining of back pain and she checked out just fine. A miracle, for real. As he said, "If you are going to take a fall like that, this age is the time to do it." So, for any of you who are older than 6, please do not plan on taking any serious falls in the future. Your opportunity has passed.
Second, I know you all are eagerly anticipating the funny. Or not. But, unfortunate for those of you that are, I realize that the funny is not nearly as funny as I thought it was, which is the usual case with anything I find funny. I am not known for my sense of humor, but what little bit I have is somewhat strange. But for those of you that find strange things funny, here is the continuation of my tale...
So, my man is carrying big girl (hereforth--I think I just made that word up, but I like it so I'm leaving it, the definition you can surmise from the context--known as E) from the play set up to the house. (Were you able to follow that last sentence? No? Hmmm...) We walk onto the deck and I step in front of him to open the door so he can carry her inside, only the door is locked.
Okay, let me remind you here that we were about to leave when we let the girls go outside to play "for five minutes." We had opened the back door and locked it because we were about to walk out the door, but had not pulled it to. But then we decided to grab water bottles because the school was only providing pizza and soft drinks and we don't do soft drinks. So, I walked back in to pour water and my man declares he is excessively hungry because he did not eat lunch and I knew he was only going to get one piece of pizza from the school, which would only be an appetizer for him. So, I tossed the chicken salad on the table and he started munching. So, we are in the kitchen, pouring water and munching chick salad when I witness (well, kinda, sorta) the crash and fall. I jet and he jets behind me, pulling the door to as he comes.
Now, you may wonder why he took the time to pull the door to if we think our daughter is seriously injured. You are wondering this, right? Well, we have a feline shadow, called Shadow, who likes to follow us everywhere we go, even outside every now and then. Only, there's a catch. She really thinks she wants to go outside--and has even learned how to push the screen door open to get outside--until she's outside and she gets completely freaked out by every little sound and movement and runs to hide and we have a terrible time coaxing her back into our arms or our house. So, to keep the little adventurer safe and happy, we either lock the screen (which can only be done from the inside) or close the door.
Okay, so now that you know why we were locked out--because that was very important information--I can finally get to the funny part. Only, remember it's not really funny anymore.
As it turns out, we had uncustomarily locked everything we own. The garage was locked, so my man couldn't get his tools. The cars were locked, so even the basic tool kits he keeps in there were inaccessible. After borrowing a ladder from the neighbor and trying every window--even though we knew they were locked--some of them multiple times, he finally called the office secretary, Janet, to see if she could get the extra key to his truck (which is really the company truck) and bring it to him. He thought if he could get in his truck, he might have the tools he needed to get into the house without destroying something. Janet was free and even kind enough to run by the office, grab the extra key, and then deliver to our house. We just had to wait.
Much time had already passed and it was cold and baby-big girl was still needing lots of cuddles. (I say baby-big because she will always be my baby too even though she is my big girl. Just as my baby girl is also such a big girl, but I don't think she would appreciate if I call her big-baby girl. It only works one way.) Our neighbor who had loaned the ladder invited us into her house to wait while my man figured out how to get in. Meanwhile, Janet arrived with the truck key, but alas! He had nothing in his truck to aid in the break-in of our own property. I of course did not know this because I was warm and cozy in the neighbor's house. So, in a few (or many) more minutes when he came to get us and announced, "I'm in," I assumed he had found something in his truck to aid him. "Yay!" I thought. But when I asked how, he said...
"I kicked in the door."
Now, I do not know why this was so funny to me then, and actually is funny to me now again after typing it, but I laughed out loud at so many random times the rest of that night imagining him, with brute strength, kicking our door in. My very calm, usually very rational, man, deciding that the best way into our home was to kick the door and bust up the door frame is just laugh-out-loud funny to me--all over again even now!
I had thought that perhaps the gigantic stressball I was carrying around from E's fall had just made me more prone to laughter, perhaps as stress relief. But I am stress-free tonight and nearly in stitches all over again.
I'm sorry if you are not, but if you are not, then I would venture a guess that you do not know my man very well. And I also predict that 40 years from now when my girls read this, because they will know their father then as well as I know him now, they will also find this mental image very funny.
To many more nights of laughter! (if not busted doors)